I don't know how to describe....
i don't know how to describe how i am feeling now...all these random thoughts that just flood through my mind ever so often. maybe i am stressed about the trip. maybe i just dont' know what to expect. i wish i could say that bcoz i have gone before, that i know...but i don't.
there isn't even abit of normalcy. i just want things to be abit normal...or for me to not be the one having to do all the decision making. i feel like my shoulders are not strong enough to carry all these weight. some parts of me want to run away...some parts of me want to have it over and done with, yet there is a part of me that is telling me to just trust God.
not in the way we human just say it for fun...but to really trust...in all aspects, to not let anything get me trippin. i want to know that everything will be alright...it will be alright.
at DTS i had my friends who were going thru the same thing with me, with me. but now i have no one. n tangible person. is this what you are trying to teach me Lord? to fully rely on you bcoz i just don't know any better.
pple keep telling me that everything will be alright, but it is not sinking in...only you O' Lord will be able to take away all my fears...all my worries...all my human responsibilities. replace all that is not of you to that which is like you. like a little child, i come to you now, telling you...with everything that i have, that I TURST YOU. I REALLY DO!
consuming fire fan into flames